Sports Movie Pitch
Time; November 12, 2002
Ted Williams: The best hitter in baseball has died, his dying wish was to be cremated and his ashes be cast into the sea he loved so much. However his Ding bat son J, Henry Williams had his father frozen instead so as to sell DNA to the highest birder
Nov 12, 2002
DING BATS
Big news in the sports world today is all about Ted Williams and his chips off the old block of ice, his Ding Bat Brats son J, Henry Willians.
As CEO of the family business J. Henry Williams fits the bill. While other CEOs are cooking the books, J. Hungry-Henry, is cooking the bats making the King of Batters sign bats he can sell for hundreds if not thousands for a personalized autographed basball bat in the open market, and J, Henry has
home base covered with the bats. Where there's a will there's away, so as soon as J, Henry gets Dad to sign the will he puts
the old bat on lay-away. To be sold later piece by ice cube piece.
Now, he's frozen his assets as major stock holders want to cash out and stop cooking the bats, and start cooking the bat ass -sets. A head may roll.
Where there's a Will, there's a Way.
Now that Ted's signed the Will
this son has put the old bat on lay-away.
As the tug of war goes into extra innings
over the best hitter in baseball 'ever,'
Ted, Tha Kid, Williams,lies frozen in the on-
deck circle, waiting to see what his little
Ding-Bat-Brat J' Henry is going to do next.
J. Hungry Henry has an idea about going into spin-offs:
Makes a small mold of a baseball bat with Papa Teds head
on the end. Fills the mold with Kool-Aid, puts mold in
the freezer( next to Daddys) until frozen,
then Wal-la 'Teddy-Pops, Daddy Pop-Suckuls'
with 406 licks to the stick Ted was last men to hit 400).
Henrys sister flips,
"Put Henrys head on the end an call 'em Ding-Bats!' 'Save enough wrappers and have your own
Daddy frozen. Who knows, maybe sometime
in the future they might bring Daddy back
an give him a brain, instead of having
Ding-Bat-Brat like Henry."
"Listen up Henry, Daddy's so frozen solid right now that
if you hit him with one of your blood money autographed baseball bats the old man would break into a thousand pieces.
If each of us gets a piece they would be worth millions."
"The rest is to be used as fish bait as
you go fishing at Daddy's favorite spot.
This should make everyone happy except
the fish that gets fried. (yo,j-hungry,
you can freeze some fish, then sell 'em
later when no ones looking!)"
Ted, Daddy, if in the future they should bring
you back, I hope you sue the shit out
of J, Henry for doing this to you.
Who would want to come back to a bunch
of spoild Ding-Bat-Brats like thus?
The greatest hitter of all times just
struck out. Was it on a curve-ball? No.
Was it a fist-ball? No.Was it a slid'er?
No. It was nothing but a screw-ball!
|
Last update: 28-03-2011 11:00 |
| Published in : Sports |
|
|
|
Users' Comments (0) 
|
|
|
