| "Radiator" |
A small traveling rock band breaks down along the side of a highway. Finding a junkyard coincedentally nearby..It might not be such a good thing. Needing a hose for their radiator 2 hillbilly wackos answer their call, but only for the good of theirselves. Hunting the band down like prey through a junkyard maze, it's going to be a funride! "Hey Mark wake up! Wake up damn you! Or we're going to be late for the show!", Jamie points at her watch after Mark rolls over in their bed exhaustedly. We got to get the gear together go pick up the guys and then hit the road. So come on cause we only got thirty minutes."
"Alright, alright I'm up already.God damn!", yells Mark. He lays his head back down, but the alarm starts going off very loud. He throws his pillow at the wall angrily. Getting up out of bed not ready, to be awake at all.
Mark grabs two guitars and a bag full of equipment and walks outside to the van.(it is raining outside).
Sandy and Billy are on the front porch waiting to both be picked up. They are all in a band, about to travel to their next gig which is a little over 60 miles away in Springfield. Sandy and Billy are talking about their future together and about settling down. Billy doesn't know it yet, but Sandy is pregnant.
The van pulls along the curb and Mark rolls down the window. "Hey you two love birds ready to roll or what? We got about 2 hours before the show begins. So let's get this party bus on the road! Billy and Sandy run to the van through the rain with their jackets covering their heads. The sidedoor slides open and the van pulls out. Mark's smoking a ciggeratte and his girlfriend Jamie moves from up front into the backseat switching spots with Billy. Billy and Mark begin discussing life and music and shit in general. The van is now leaving town and on the highway, a road sign says Springfield 60 miles.(Mark turns up the radio) The song with the lyrics "On The Road Again" are playing. Sandy and Jamie are in back talking about girl stuff. Mainly their boyfriends, Sandy whispers to Jamie that she's pregnant. Mark accidentally overhears as Billy is daydreaming staring out the wet passenger side window. Mark lights up a joint and starts to get high and turns the radio up a little bit louder so he won't hear any more secrets. 20 miles later, they make a quick stop in a small town to gas up and grab some snacks, take a piss,etc. Some of the people there are kind of creepy and hillbillyish. They hit the road again after Mark scares Sandy and Jamie entering from around the opposite side of the Van after paying for gas."And here we go again, let's go.",Mark says enthusiastically as they pull from the pumps. 15 minutes later, everyone in the van is chitchatting but Mark. His temperature gauge is beginning to read hot and he's wondering if it's got enough water in the radiator."Well did you check it",Billy asks? "No. I didnt' have time too",replies Mark. "Just pull over and check it real fast",says Jamie. "Don't tell me what to do baby, I'm a man I know what i'm doing", Mark exclaims. "Yeah, yeah,ya..i'v heard you say that before",Jamie says like a smartass."It's not hot enough to get me to pull over yet, we still got 35 more miles to go."Mark says confidently."Yeah your right just keep driving til this old piece of crap blows up. Real smart Mark.",answers Jamie. "This ole baby?",Mark laughs."She ain't ever let me down before, cause we got trust.",Mark says trying to piss Jamie off."Oh great, an arrogant asshole and a dumbass.",Jamie replies back."I heard that"Mark states knowingly but really unbothered by it. Looking out the windshield, the camera shows the dotted lines of the highway and raindrops hitting the glass hard. And then a big burst of water splashes all over the windshield and the engine starts smoking, there's a loud bang and it shakes the whole van shaking everyone inside and causing fear and panic. The van begins to pull to the shoulder of the highway after slowing down tremedously quick it comes to a stop. "Let me guess Mark. That was the God Damn radiator wasn't it?",Jamie yells at him angrily."No baby, that was the God Damn radiator hose.",Mark explains aggravatedly. "Let's get out and see what we can do bill",Mark says to Billy."Well oh right Mark, but I don't think we're going to be able to do much considering it's a hose and all we got is a couple hoes. They both laugh for a second, but have to get their asses out to try and fix the problem."Man I'm stoned",Mark says as he's looking underneathe the hood. "Yep this radiator hose is fucken shot." He pulls it off with a screwdriver, it's got a huge hole in it. As Billy looks over to the side of the van he sees a board laying on the ground close to the van. "What the fucks what",Mark says. Billy walks over to what he's seeing and discover that somethings stuck in their back tire and that they also have a flat tire now."It's a fucken board with nails in it",billy says as he jerks it out of the tire."Are you fucken shitten me?What kind of stupid hillbilly piece of shit would leave a fucken board out in the middle of the fucken highway?"Mark hollers angrily very loud. "Well fuck, now we got two problems and no damn phone for help".billy says. Mark and him look down the highway a bit and see a gravel road leading east, along the way as they gander further they see a light that has some objects underneathe it."Looks like a house or somethin over there, it's not far..we'll just have to walk and see if we can get some help or find a phone."Mark implies. Mark slides open the side door of the van and tells the girls to put their jackets on and to walk with them down the road up the hill off the side of the highway to the light they seen over there. As they begin to walk futher away from the van billy asks mark if their shits going to be safe there. Mark explains that they're only going to be gone for a little while and that everything should be fine. Sandy and Jamie are pissed off at Mark for being an arrogant dickhead and not stopping before the radiator exploded. They're getting close to where they seen the light at and begin to see a house underneathe. "Almost there, hell yeah! We'll be back on the road in no time" Mark says excitingly..Jamie replies with"You know we're already going to be fucken late you moron". "Better late then never baby, better late then never"Mark says to her. The two couples are walking side by side and aren't but a stones throw away from the driveway when they look at the gate that seems to be welcoming them. A sign that reads "Welcome To Funland".."This is kind of freakin creepy Billy, i'm getting scared", Jamie says worriedly grasping on to Billy's arm."Don't worry baby I'm here to protect you". Billy responds and eases her conscious."This looks like a real freak show don't it",Mark says to Jamie."Yeah, and all thanks to you..now you've got us all killed",Jamie says pissed off and just plain angrily. Walking through the gate is a valley where the remaining sunlight seems to fade and there are old and rundown vehicles and trucks all over the place, like a junkyard maze."Well looks like they'll probably have whatever we're lookin for, can't get any luckier than that."Mark says to the group. "Yeah let's just get what we need and get the fuck out of here while we're still breatheing ",Jamie responds."That's the plan, I don't want to stay here any longer than we have to either.",Mark says back with the same sort of mindset. There's a hill to walk down along the path which drops elevation from the entrance and there's a trailor at the bottom with what looks to be miles of cars behind it."Whoa, it looks like one big gigantic maze," Billy exclaims."Yeah...it sure does", Mark says agreeingly. Looking around the trailer are tables that have blood all over them, flies are swooping around and dead animal carcusses are hanging from closelines and nearby treelimbs. Some of them are rotting away, others look freshly cut open. Sandy almost instantly covers her mouth turns her head and throws up, gagging and coughing afterwards..she decides to go back to the van and wait for the crew as the smell and sight of the carcusses have made her sick and paranoid. The others turn to go after her when the screendoor of the trailer swings open with that old door like squeek.Errk! and then slams behind. An extremely filthy man wearing coveralls, standing about 6'5 and weighing about 300 lbs. walks onto the porch with his bigass leather huntin boots on almost making the ground shake with every step. He's a weirdo looking guy in the face, almost like sloth from the goonies. But a little more put together with his facial structure. Then, a gunshot fires loud from behind the trailor and a big flock of birds fly high into the air up above the 3 members. I remind you that Sandy has just left, just left.....Mark finally opens his mouth and out of fear can't talk normal but ends up studdering."hi ii i, ummmm m m, we werre having some car trouble and was just kindd off wondering iff you had a spare tire and a hose around here?", the man just stands there staring at them with an evil killer stare and doesn't say a word. He pulls a rag out from his back pocket and begins to wipe his hands off, they appear to be full of blood. Out from the corner of the house a mans voice says,"can i help you?". Mark turns around very quickly to see a much skinnier man about his height that is also extremely dirty and bloody with a crazy screwball look and some whacko looking eyes and goofy facial expressions. "Yes you can"standing in shock mark begins to ask this man for help,"we just broke down, because our radiator hose exploded and was looking for one...and a spare tire if you had it?" The skinnier man stands there for a few seconds staring at the trio, with an utter look of wondering why they have trespassed his land. "There's a sign right there that says' no trespassin!" the man says to them hostily. Mark looks behind him at a sign that is laying on the ground."Sorry about that, we didn't see it", Mark exclaims. The man tells his brother, the big guy, to go around back by nudging his head to him. The trio are looking at the man with an audry wonderment as to where he's going."We might be able to find what your lookin for around back." the skinny man points out. "Follow me".
Mark and Jamie begin to follow the man, as Billy tells the two that he's going back for Sandy. Mark and Jamie stare at one another as the scary acting skinny guy is waiting for them hostily acting. It is getting later, and darker. It seems like they have been out in the junkyard for about 30 minutes but it's actually only been about 10. The skinnier man leads them farther and farther away as he declares that he has exactly what they are looking for if they just follow him. They can hear dogs barking in the background and other disturbing sounds that make them feel like they are in a bad place. Mark begins to get upset with the man, and starts asking him to hurry the hell up and take them to where they can get the parts. A radiator hose and a tire.(They don't know it yet, but Billy has been killed already..slain, by the weird older brother on his way back to the van. Sandy discovers her body further into the movie as she decides to wonder what's been taking so long. By this time Jamie has been murdered, and fed to the dogs. Now dead body parts are laying around and an arm and leg is hanging from the clotheslines as Sandy re-enters the field of cars. Sandy is the last lone survivor of the movie, she is being chased through the junkyard with a chainsaw by the big man TC, as the skinnier guy is injured, carrying a machede and has released pitbulls on her.....she runs into a pile of dead mutilated bodies that the dogs were being fed, and the Junkyard men were also preparing to eat them...Sandy escapes through the field and makes it too the highway where she retrieves help. Only to find that the man saving her life, is the another Junkyardman with more charming looks and a nice personality...He drags her out of the truck and into the field as her brothers await...they hold her down and drop an engine on her that was hanging from a cherry picker.......She is dead, and they are happy to have anymore visitors....The credits roll as it shows the eldest brother hauling their brokendown van to their junkyard, with the song on the road again playing again. THE END...."WELCOME TO FUNLAND"...THIS MAY BE YOUR LAST TRIP...
original title"FUNLAND"..other titles "Radiator" or "On The Road Again"
About me: You can e-mail me if you're interested in this movie idea/short story. It's based off a real place and real characters. Of course they never anyone, we sure thought they were capable of doing it, and were just glad to get what we were after and get the hell out of there with our skin still in tact.
Character names: Mark,Billy,Sandy,Jamie...they are a rock band of 4. Both being couples. They are traveling to their next gig and just trying to make it there on time when all else goes wrong and they find themselves at the mercy of two save junkyard men that are brutal killers and cannibals. Hillbilly wackos that do have done alot of killing along the highway. Marks kind of a cool acting guy with alot of weight and stress on his shoulders from all the band work he must do. He cusses alot, wears cutoff sleeve shirts and jeans with holes in them. He's got a tattoo on his arm that reads KISS, MOTLEY CRUE..etc...Jamie is his girlfriend, she can be kind of a bitch when she wants to be, but is for the most part not too bad. She's very sexy! Billy is a short haired more conservative type of guy, his girlfriend Sandy and him are thinking about quitting the band and getting on with their lives together..especially since Sandy has just found out that she's pregnant. But hasn't told Billy just quite yet..Sandy is a nice girl and usually stays out of dangerous type situations..she's probably smarter then the others. Because she is the last to go... (They are driving in either a 1970's or 1980's midnight blue, or red van..It's nice on the inside but has been acting up, backfiring...etc..It needs a tune-up..It's a beast on gas, so he's constantly putting fuel in it, which is costly.)
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