The Great Post-Vending Emending  E-mail
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BY NC SA
 
Written by James Voit, on 10-06-2011 08:26 Kill Bill - Volume 1
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This film takes place on an alternate Earth and is shown from the vantage point of billions of candy bar-sized human beings who eventually get captured by human-sized candy bars. Next, they're sent to a massive underground chamber where vending machines are stored 600 miles beneath the Earth's surface. The humans are then systematically and strategically placed into different vending machines,separated into individual categories according to which country they were originally abducted from. After each country has their own particular set of candy bar-sized human filled vending machines ready for placement, the machines are sent off to different cities throughout the particular countries at random. They're then put into office buildings, amusement parks, arcades, airports, break-rooms, etc. for human-sized candy bars to eat at their own will. The story revolves around the candy bar-sized humans worldwide struggle to escape from the vending machines and eventually build their own cities made out of excess candy wrappers, which the human-sized candy bars continuously shed as they age. Many of the candy bar-sized humans perish after escaping, either by being eaten or stepped on by the human-sized candy bars. The only countries with survivors end up being Togo, Malaysia, Ethiopia and Norway. In these countries, the different techniques used by the candy bar-sized humans to assemble their cities with the excess candy bar wrappers are documented closely. Most of the candy bar-sized humans choose to build their cities in the trees scattered across the land, yet we come to find out that the candy bar-sized humans of Ethiopia had a different plan altogether. They gather barrels of liquid chocolate that flows down most of the rivers throughout the country, as a result of the human-sized candy bars who couldn't survive in the constant heat of Ethiopia, which is 94.4 degrees, and eventually melted. The barrels that are gathered are then taken to caves, where the candy bar-sized humans live. The cooler temperatures of the caves allow the chocolate to solidify, but before it does, the candy bar-size humans have specific blue-prints laid out for a chocolate civilization to be built. The chocolate begins to harden, and is cut into different shaped blocks and the other shapes that are needed for creating their future chocolate towers, buildings and houses. One surviving candy-bar sized human in particular, Hector, has always had much talent as a woodworker. He is able to transfer these abilities, quite effortlessly, towards chocolate. Hector's talents are showcased while he builds chocolate chairs, tables, cabinets, dressers, bookshelves and more with great ease. He often ends up with enough spare time to build toys for the surviving children, as well as sculptures of his favorite animal, the gazelle. Moving on, the seemingly good times being shared by all of the remaining candy-bar sized humans of Ethiopia are suddenly cut short. The main culprit ends up being something that has become part of the candy-bar sized humans structures, quite literally the foundation that holds their chocolate towers together during emergencies, the four-leaf clover. These clovers begin to experience a sort of epidemic. Seemingly overnight, they begin to produce a thick poisonous film that coats their leaves. This film slowly seeps into the candy-bar sized humans homes, eventually getting into their food and even on their bed sheets. Without any warning, candy-bar sized humans begin to perish one by one. Not knowing what the cause of all this is, they experience a major sense of loss and confusion. This horrific and unexpected predicament begins to occur not just in Ethiopia, but in Togo, Malaysia and Norway, the only remaining locations on the planet with any surviving candy-bar sized humans. Surprisingly, in each of these locations, the candy-bar sized humans have discovered the undeniable usefulness of the four-leaf clover. They all rely quite heavily on it, thus they all succumb to its unknown and unexpected poison. When the candy bar-sized humans feel that they have no one else to reach to, nowhere else to turn, they reluctantly consider their last resort...the human-sized candy bars. Will the human-sized candy bars have any remorse for the candy bar-sized humans, or is it end times for this rapidly depleting race?
Last update: 10-06-2011 08:26
Published in : Cult

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